Drive Safely Now, Ya Hear?

[Hidr]

Drive Safely now, Ya Hear?

This was sent to me by a friend from Panama, but I believe most of us have a location in mind for which we can substitute Panama*. For me it could even be here in Jackson, Mississippi(or where ever you live.). Most of us could probably also give a personal testimony to the veracity of these guidelines for the way people conform to these rules, even while on a cell-phone talking and/or texting. Rules For Driving In Panama*

1. Never use turn signals -- this will give away your next move. A real Panamanian

Driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car

In front of you, this space will be filled by at least 2 taxis and a BMW,

Putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of

Getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it

Will only result in you being rear-ended.

5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks

In, giving you a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For

Those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

6. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to check if the people

Entering the highway are awake.

7. Speed

Limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a guideline.

They are especially not applicable in Panama during rush hour. That's why

it's called 'rush hour.'

8. Just because you're in the right lane and have no room to speed up or move over

Doesn't mean that a Panamanian driver honking behind you doesn't think he can

Go faster in your spot.

9. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone

Changing a tire. Never stop to help -- you will be mugged.

10. Learn to swerve abruptly. Panama is the home of the high-speed

Slalom driving thanks to the Ministry of Public Works, which removes manhole

Covers and puts other holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and

Keeps them on their toes.

11. It is traditional in Panama

To honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.

This prevents pigeons from building nests on top of the traffic light and birds from making

Deposits on your car.

12. Remember that the goal of every Panamanian driver is to get there

First, by whatever means necessary.

13. On average, at least three cars can still go through an intersection after

The light has turned red. It's people not adhering to this basic principle

That causes the big traffic jams during rush hour.

[dogsbykat]

Ahh, the roots of road rage

[number20121]

So glad I'm not driving

[johann_pond]

Sounds like the rules for Boston drivers.

[Helen]

someone must have been following me last week to think up all these happenings

[koko]

sounds like the rules here in OR