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How Can I Help Him?


Kissy

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My boyfriend is from Saudi Arabia and he (and some of his friends too) has been the victims of several pretty violent racist crimes lately, some some verbal but also some physical. I have no doubt about him defending himself, but since this has been happening this year, I can tell he's been down. It's mostly homesickness since he can no longer return home because of the challenges of renewing visas and its been a year since he's last seen any of his family. He wants to talk to his family about the racism that's been happening to him but he can't because his father would immediately move him and that's the last thing he wants right now. He's getting help through the police and international office, and he's thinking about a couple sessions of counselling to figure out what is really going on with him. What can I do for him? He's not a drag like my boyfriend in highschool, but I know he's hiding some of those feelings. This is definately reflecting in his grades. He says I'm the one person who can calm him down and make him feel at peace, but I'm not good at feelings, please help :\

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I would tell him that its ok to express his feeling, and to stay close to him to let him know your here for him

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It sounds like he is going through a really tough time, and doesn't even feel he can turn to his family. Coming from a very close family myself, I can imagine that really hurts.

Maybe the only thing you can do is be there for him. He may not want to talk about everything yet, so just to know there is someone who supports him. You could let him know the reasons you like him and value him. Having people in his life that appreciate him for who he is, not what he looks like, has to help.

People that judge you on surface only really get my hackles up! There is so much more to all of us than just appearance.

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It seems like he is trying to come up for a solution, not only for himself but for others. He and our friend Jay are going to start an Arab Student Union. We have a lot of Arab students here and its probably best since others are having problems too, but are not speaking up like they should. I hope this helps :\

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That is a good idea but will probably attrack more racist attention. I would try to keep it low key and spread by word of mouth rather than sticking up posters, etc. It's just a sign of the times and for every person that insults your friend there is another who would defend his right to be who he is.

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Hate crimes are against the law. Your friend should not have to fear for his safety.

Speaking strictly for myself, If it were me being attacked, I would be talking to the police.

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