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Why Do Ppl Keep Goldfish If They Can't Take Care Of Them?


jyoti411

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Ok..so my boss has a goldfish tank at work..he just got it from a friend who could not keep them..its a 25 gallon tank with a pleco and 8 goldfish...yeah thats right 8..well today it came down to 6.. :unsure: ..Toady a small one jumped out of the tank..becos he hasn't changed the water for over a year now...arrrrggggghhhhh!!!.. :blink: I have been trying to get him to do it for a long time..but he would just not listen...of course I cannot tell him beyond an extent cos he is my boss... :ignore but I feel really sad for the fish in there..algae all over..the gravel looks awful..he says he has an undergravel filter and he hasn't vaccuumed it for a year now.. :krazy: 3 inches of water has evaporated..and the remaining water is all yellow..I brought that to his notice too..and he just sshhhed me by saying..'Oh no its just the color of the wall behind it that gives it a yellow look.'...OMG!!!... :cry1 and today 1 goldie jumped out of the water...when I realized that he was on the floor it was too late..and he was all dried up so I am guessing it happened last night...ohhh..I am so sad.. :cry1 he was a gray color cute goldie that was turning golden..the tank is now left with a 6 inch and a 5 inch goldfish..and 6 smaller 1-2 inch fish...I informed him and he now says, 'Oh so I should really change the water now.'...I am so pissed off today...

The important thing is that my boss had set a parameter to change the water in the tank..which is 'I am gonna wait.If any of the small one dies then I will change the water..Tht is a parameter for me..'...Ahhhhhhhh...I am jsut so pissed off... :(

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Perhaps what you could do is approach it from a different angle. Suggest that you'd love to take over maintenance of the tank. On your own time, of course, so there would be no hesitation by your boss re: he's paying you to do it. Say that you realize he's too busy trying to run his business and maybe you could lighten the load for him by taking over this responsibility. Of course, the fact remains that there are too many fish in too small a tank and it's pretty clear that your boss would be unwilling to buy a larger tank. Now, here's something really sneaky.... if you were allowed to take over the tank maintenance, perhaps you could find a LFS that would agree to take the fish and then you could sneak out fish one at a time, periodically, hopefully before they die naturally, and tell your boss that it died. I know, it's lying and cheating and whatever other word you want to call it, but if your boss wants to play that game, well, you need to do whatever it takes. And then just leave two fish to happily exist in a tank that is well-maintained by you. I dunno... a thought...

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I had offered him to help with the cleaning and future maintenance..and he refused...he said he would do it when needed...and today he informed me that he would let his wife take care of them by the end of this month..as his family is moving back to San Francisco...and their house is ready to move in...The tank will go away...of course he won't invest in a bigger tank..I have also suggested that the tank is overcrowded but he does not think so...well his theory is that he is better than ppl who keep them in bowls...so he doesn't do the cleaning himself and neither lets anyone do it..

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People keep goldfish like this for the same reason that they keep dogs that they never vaccinate or educate (train), cats that they never sterilize, and even children that they are incapable of raising properly. It is becasue everyone assumes that the knowledge needed to properly care for a fish, dog, cat or baby is something that every person has inherantly. We all KNOW how to take care of a dog, or a cat or a child, right? It is normal - copmmon knowledge that we are somehow genetically born with, right?

The same is for fish - they are NOT hard - for goodness sake we all had little goldfish we won at the local fair that lived in the tiny quart bowl sitting on the kitchen counter. The fish lived as well as any goldfish lived - we were told that they lived for about 2-3 months - that was the lifespan. We counted ourselves lucky if the fish lasted 6 months!

Many people will never become "smart" enough to realize just how much they do NOT know. The smarter people will wise up and realize just how much they need to learn... in life. For friends, family, dogs, cats, children or fish.

Try as you might, I do not think that you will ever be able to teach this fellow. He is sure of his knowledge - and is not willing to consider alternative information.

So sad.

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Agreed. I used to work at a vet's office. I hated it when people came in with animals they didn't take care of. They always seemed to give the same explanation too. "My grand dad had dogs and he never did any of this fancy vaccine crud...blah blah blah". I felt so bad for the animals.

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Guest Kayla's Goldfish

Why not ask if you can 'clean up' the tank. Don't make it obvious you doubt his knowledge but instead compliment him on his beautiful fish and offer if you can clean the tank. Tell him its your hobby and you like doing it. Do it on your own, dont ask him for his help because then he'll most likely say no and not want to go through the effort.

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Ur so right Daryl..He does not wanna learn..His wife was mad at him for not changing the water as well...and she had offered him to clean up the tank when she visited our work once...and I was really happy that finally the tank will be clean and the fish happy...but all she did was looked at the tank..had a close look at the goldfish that was dying of swim bladder..and went out for lunch with my boss...I suggested her to take the fish out and at least treat him with aquarium salt and some medicines I could look up and suggest...but she just kept saying..oh well he eats like a pig..I am not astonished to see him that way...and then walked away after sometime... :krazy: ..the poor fish died that evening... :cry1 ..that fish was an awesome 6 inch goldie..lot of personality and my fav in the tank.. :( I wonder what care would she take when she takes charge of this tank at their place...

I love Lynda's idea of sneaking the fish out...but my boss said he is going to get some more fish to replace the ones that have died...so I will be inviting more fish to some cruel deaths..and sick living conditions..I just feel so helpless..poor fishies... :cry1

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There is something to Kayla's idea - compliment him on his beautiful fish, and what shame it is that they can't be properly seen and admired in such a filthy tank. Maybe his ego will catch hold, and he changes his mind.

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yeah thts a good idea..good ego massage there..Well today..after his fish died..I kinda got mad at him..and he promised he will clean the tank cos he does not wanna lose any more fish :krazy: ...if he does not..yes I am really going to do it myself...even if he finds it rude...

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Oh..a lil update...Today before I walked into my office in the morning, my boss had already cleaned up the dirty tank...Yesterday I had suggested him to use a spare filter that been lying around...he even did that....The tank still has algae and everything..but still the water is clean...and a lot better than what it was...The gravel has a lot of gunk in it..although he vacuumed it..he was himself kinda feeling eekie about the gunk still visible..so he said he will do a water change again in the next week...Oh I feel so good for the fishies...

I will definitely encourage him and talk him into a better cleanup next week...or now..the fish look good...I am glad at least the water is not yellow and poisonous anymore...

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SunshineGurl - good work! You must have been able to make an impact on him without making him angry and defensive. That's so tricky to do! You must have a real talent with people!

Yes, I agree with your idea to encourage him! Hey, maybe even bring a friend by during lunch to see the tank and "show off" the fish in your office. It sounds like he is willing to make further improvements, like the vacuuming, now that the precedent is set. A little algae - well, you could think of it as a midnight snack for the goldies. :)

:panana

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oh so true..the algae is fine..the gravel still looks nasty...and yeah..I will compliment him on the nicer looking tank again..I am sure he will clean up next week one more time...I will make him do it..shhh.. ;) ...although since he did a major water change I am little worried about the cycle of the tank...It wouldn't be so bad..but I will highlight on that fact and encourage him for a water change to avoid any toxic ammonia and nitrites building up...I am sure he was not proud of the fact that one of his goldfish committed a suicide becos of dirty water...

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Oh..a lil update...Today before I walked into my office in the morning, my boss had already cleaned up the dirty tank...Yesterday I had suggested him to use a spare filter that been lying around...he even did that....The tank still has algae and everything..but still the water is clean...and a lot better than what it was...The gravel has a lot of gunk in it..although he vacuumed it..he was himself kinda feeling eekie about the gunk still visible..so he said he will do a water change again in the next week...Oh I feel so good for the fishies...

I will definitely encourage him and talk him into a better cleanup next week...or now..the fish look good...I am glad at least the water is not yellow and poisonous anymore...

oh so true..the algae is fine..the gravel still looks nasty...and yeah..I will compliment him on the nicer looking tank again..I am sure he will clean up next week one more time...I will make him do it..shhh.. ;) ...although since he did a major water change I am little worried about the cycle of the tank...It wouldn't be so bad..but I will highlight on that fact and encourage him for a water change to avoid any toxic ammonia and nitrites building up...I am sure he was not proud of the fact that one of his goldfish committed a suicide becos of dirty water...

AAAAAANNNNDD.... I see the oldest and only trick my mother ever taught me about men..... it has to be THEIR idea. Most men simply cannot handle being told what to do. Especially by a woman. So, when we women want something, it's up to us to submit it in a way that makes it seem like the man's idea. Sneaky game playing, yeah, but if a man's gonna force us to that.... well....... conversely, if we don't, men usually are listening (even though it doesn't seem like they are) but, they need time to mull it around in their brain for a while until all of a sudden, it becomes their idea! So, run with it. Play his game. Stroke that ego. I think complimenting him on the good job and bringing in others to do the same definitely looks like the thing to do. Just don't make it too overdone obvious.

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Oh..a lil update...Today before I walked into my office in the morning, my boss had already cleaned up the dirty tank...Yesterday I had suggested him to use a spare filter that been lying around...he even did that....The tank still has algae and everything..but still the water is clean...and a lot better than what it was...The gravel has a lot of gunk in it..although he vacuumed it..he was himself kinda feeling eekie about the gunk still visible..so he said he will do a water change again in the next week...Oh I feel so good for the fishies...

I will definitely encourage him and talk him into a better cleanup next week...or now..the fish look good...I am glad at least the water is not yellow and poisonous anymore...

oh so true..the algae is fine..the gravel still looks nasty...and yeah..I will compliment him on the nicer looking tank again..I am sure he will clean up next week one more time...I will make him do it..shhh.. ;) ...although since he did a major water change I am little worried about the cycle of the tank...It wouldn't be so bad..but I will highlight on that fact and encourage him for a water change to avoid any toxic ammonia and nitrites building up...I am sure he was not proud of the fact that one of his goldfish committed a suicide becos of dirty water...

AAAAAANNNNDD.... I see the oldest and only trick my mother ever taught me about men..... it has to be THEIR idea. Most men simply cannot handle being told what to do. Especially by a woman. So, when we women want something, it's up to us to submit it in a way that makes it seem like the man's idea. Sneaky game playing, yeah, but if a man's gonna force us to that.... well....... conversely, if we don't, men usually are listening (even though it doesn't seem like they are) but, they need time to mull it around in their brain for a while until all of a sudden, it becomes their idea! So, run with it. Play his game. Stroke that ego. I think complimenting him on the good job and bringing in others to do the same definitely looks like the thing to do. Just don't make it too overdone obvious.

A lesson that I need to learn..and also learn to implement more tactfully and often... :) ...and I complimented him on his tank in the evening in the presence of a colleague..he was so happy...he even admitted tht he didn't do a good job with the tank.. :bingo: but now on he will make sure he does frequent water changes... :) .. :whatjust: I have ordered a water conditioner for him...I don't think he uses one..so just a bit of info I think I should let him know about fish keeping... and yes tactfully.. :rolleyes:

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Isilme

Sunshinegirl, what's the situation of the tank/fishes now? I must say I was really sick after reading all this... I hope the fish are better now?

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I am sorry guys...I haven't updated... Well a few days after the cleaning and installation of a good external filter..my boss realized that the under gravel filter had stopped working..god alone knows since when...no wonder the water was so messed up...but no more cleaning after that..I have tried to talk him into it..a little ego massage..but nothing has worked yet.. :( ...the fish are ok..well but he does not understand the basic that his tank is overstocked...with 5 commons in a 25 gallon...the fishies definitely are not doing so good...Trust me...I want to help...but cannot...I believe Ignorance can be fixed, but Stupidity stays forever...more than anything I am having a few problems at work with the management changing and lay offs happenning..so although I watch the fish for any bad signs everyday...I dont poke him too much...only if something is bad...but I know he is not bothered so much...I am sorry guys...I really cannot do much.. :( ..I feel bad too.. :cry1 ..

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I'm sure he at least understands a few things, right? Have you ever suggested him to information sites or even this forum if he goes online at all? I wish there was more to be done.

OHOH! How about.. inviting him over to see your fishies??

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Guest Isilme

Well, things now are not how they should be, but it's a lot better now than it was before, so you shoudln't feel too bad, you already made things better for them.

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I'm sure he at least understands a few things, right? Have you ever suggested him to information sites or even this forum if he goes online at all? I wish there was more to be done.

OHOH! How about.. inviting him over to see your fishies?

I am sure he understands a lot of things...but not many people take their pets seriously...especially when they say its Just a fish...which I hate.. :( trust me if it were possible I would have done a lot of things...but I have to take care of my professional life as well..he likes being professional with everyone around, but gives me a bit of an edge cos I am the only girl in the entire team and he is fond of my hard work...but there are lines that I need to draw in order to not piss off my boss...its work after all..if he were a friend sure I would have gone that extra mile...I really appreciate you being equally concerned abt the fishies.. :) ..but as I said I can't go beyond this mainly becos of his nature...the circumstances at work..layoffs and stuff..everyone is worried abt their jobs and the pressure to be handled..so yeah..I think I will let it be..if possible I will keep encouraging him for water changes..like I talked him into keeping the external filter..which he listened to...and has helped the water quality to a great extent...and yeah for the same reason cannot invite him over.. :) ...but hope things will change in future.. :)

BTW I have been treating my sick fishies for the past one month..and they still have 15 days of observation and process to go...so currently I have a mess at my place with the QT tub and the main tank and the fishies separated..so yeah not a good time for anyone to come home.. :) ..but again thnks for the concern.. :)

Well, things now are not how they should be, but it's a lot better now than it was before, so you shoudln't feel too bad, you already made things better for them.

Thnks Islime...I appreciate your kind words.. :) ..I truly tried.. :)

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Hi JC,

This is a hard call. I actually have this problem with friends and family members who have dogs that they don't train. For instance, my parents 95 pound dog won't let my mom in the bed or out of the bed...she growls very agressively. I have suggested a million times things they can do including not allowing her in the bed but they just say "she is fine" or "I just don't bother her and she won't growl." I can't help but think of all the proper training tips and the diasaster that is waiting to happen, but they don't listen. There is only so much you can do...so frustrating.

It was good that you tried, but you have to protect yourself and your job (and that also protects your fishys at home). The only other thing I could think of is if you did super secret water changes when he was gone, but you would want to be very careful of not getting caught as he might think you are interferring with his "property."

Amy

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Hi Amy,

thanks for understanding my limits here..

Oh noo...I am really scared of touching the setup.. :( although sounds like a gr88 idea :) ...anyway, one of his fish died becos some guy at work was feeding the fish a bit extra than that was needed, without asking or informing him...and my boss got quite mad abt it..of course he took it in a good way..but if anything goes wrong..I won't be able to take it...I wud rather stay away.. :( ..

I feel bad..but again I ll do watever I can..and not crossing lines..

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