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Goodbye Love, Goodbye


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My favorite fish Sheldon died last month. I've been wanting to write a little something for him, but every time I start to I tear up and decide to do it another time. I've already gotten teary now, but I am going to push through it this time.

The reason it's back on my mind if because something really bad happened. Not really bad in the typical emergency sense but something that to me is just horrible and I think you guys will understand. It's very sad and somewhat gross, so do not read if you are unsure.

Last night I went out to the freezer in the garage to get a burrito for Shane. I have some fish in there waiting a "proper" burial. I just didn't feel ready and I was waiting until I felt I could do it. I noticed one of the fish baggies had been moved. It was close to the front of the freezer, and I had them placed in a back section where they wouldn't be easily moved or seen. It was Tanya's X-Ray Cat. I looked and did not think much of it, and placed the fish back. On the way out I thought I smelled something funny. I went back upstairs but still had a very uneasy feeling so I went back to the garage. Upon looking closer I found a baggie off to the side of the room. Clearly it had gotten knocked out. I picked it up and right away I could tell that the baggie had not been in the freezer for some time. I looked closer and realized it was Sheldon. (Okay now I am not just teary it's full on crying. I can't see the screen.) The poor little guy was almost unrecognizeable. I will try to say it as tactfully as possible. Very discolored and wasting away. It looked like the bag had been stepped on too.

This was very painful to see. He meant so much to me and I really wanted to be able to look at his little face one more time before burying him. Seeing him that way is just so sad. It reminds me that I hoped he would make it and grow to be a big healthy fish and to see him like that, well it's just very sad. I will still give him a burial in a special spot but for now I just want to write:

Sheldon - I love you so much. I'm sorry I couldn't help you get better. I know you're in a better place now and not hurting anymore. Thanks for teaching me how to take care of a fish and for being such a little fighter. I will never forget you. You will always have a very special place in my heart. Rest in peace little guy.

Sheldon.jpg

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Oh gosh, I am so sorry that you had to see that. I know you know that that yucky body isn't Sheldon anymore, but I also know what you're saying about wanting to see his face one more time before you buried him.

Without a doubt Sheldon knew that you loved him and did your very best for him. Heck, he held out for the opportunity to die right in your hand. What comfort that must have provided him. What a lucky fish to have had you to love him so much! And though we are so sorry that things didn't turn out better for your first few fish (including Sheldon), we are so glad that their illness brought you here to us. You have quickly become a valued member of our community and we are so happy to have you here.

Now I am crying, too. Losing three fish in one week has been hard (Pepper this morning and my two clownfish earlier in the week).

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Ohhh I'm sorry to hear about your experinece.

I actually had a similar one (that I hadn't shared). When my favorite fish ever died (Big George, the guy in my avatar) my sister put him in the fridge in a container until we could bury him. I assumed she did the deed, since he was really her fish, only to find out she'd just shoved the container to the back of the fridge :(:(

I had a similar experience to what you described when I buried him, it was really bad. But I reminded myself that it wasn't my boy there anymore, just his physical body.

I hope you feel better about this. It was sweet of you to even try and preseve Sheldon's body for a proper burial, many people would have just flushed. He was loved and that's all that matters :heart

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Awww Sue, I'm sorry that happened to the poor little guy. It almost seems that his purpose was to find you so he could teach you just how special these guys can become and how to help you learn how to properly care for them. Once that happened he knew it was ok to go.

(((HUGS)))

Kathy

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:heart

I had to freeze my black moor, Rhapsody, after she dropsied and wasn't able to bury her for a few months. I decided in the end it was better not to look while we buried her.

I watched your struggle with Sheldon when you first came here-- I watched you blossom into a full-blown goldfish addict. You have SUCH a big heart for your pets and I'm so glad to call you a friend. RIP Sheldon-- you had the best owner you possibly could have had.

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Wow you guys are just amazing. Thank you as always for being so supportive and kind. I just love all of you! You guys have been there with me through so much and every time something else happens, you're still there.

Wait what's that? Do I hear Golden Girls theme song music?

"Thank you for being a friend!!! Travel down the road and back again!"

When we all get together for the goldfish BBQ in Heidi's dream let's play that song in the background : )

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Sue, I felt so badly for you when you first came here. You tried so hard for Sheldon and did everything possible that you could have done. He knew you loved him and you gave him a wonderful life and a wonderful home. I'm sorry you had to see him like that, but remember that that wasn't Sheldon...just the remains of his physical body. The real Sheldon will live on in your heart forever.

I also want to chime in and say how great it is to have you here.

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remember that that wasn't Sheldon...just the remains of his physical body. The real Sheldon will live on in your heart forever.

I have to second this. It's compassion and caring that make things real. And you have plenty of that. TFR47.gif

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Last night after readings everyone's comments on here I went upstairs and showed Shane this thread. He read what I wrote and said "awww I didn't know you were down there crying". Then he read Kristen's comment and said "WOW! She actually remembers that Sheldon died in your hand without you havng to remind her? That's so nice of her" Then he read Chrissy's and said "the people on this board are really nice". Then he read Vickie's and said "Okay these are the nicest people I have ever seen!". I could go on about what he said with each individual person but you get the point lol He continued to read everyone's comments and by the end I said "Now you do understand why I like koko's so much?" And he said "They are such great people! I'm going to have to find a message board!"... Just a little testament to how wonderful you ALL are : )

Shane knows most of your names at this point too. I must talk koko's more than I realize because if he hasn't seen me in a bit I'll come into the room and he'll pick a random name and say "How's ______ doing?".. He knows so many names it's funny. For some reason he picks Heidi a lot! Guess he likes your name! I think he knew your name before I did LOL

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  • 1 month later...
  • Regular Member

i know this is a month old thread, but id just like to say that reading this post made me cry, the story was so sad and i understand exactly how you feel. i'm so sorry you had to lose your fishy. i hope the hurt has gone away a bit, and im positive up until his last moments, sheldon knew how much you loved him.

feel better, sue =]

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Aww thank you!!! Even though it's old it's still nice to hear : ) I still miss him a lot.. It's weird I thought I would be over it, and even though it's been 2 monhts since he died, I still miss him so much! He really just has a special place for me.. I love all of my new fish sooo soo much, but Sheldon will always have that spot. I still think what he would look like if he got better. It helps though, because I did learn so much from him, and hopefully I can help someone else's fish.. (And right now that fish is Sunshine so come on little fishy!!! please get better!!!!!)

Thanks so much for what you said.. it really means a lot to me. :)

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You are such an amazing person with so much love to give. Any human and any animal is lucky to cross paths with you.

Aww Amy, thank you!! You are too sweet!!!!

I disagree though. If you meet me at a concert for one of my favorite singers and even THINK about getting in my way, I will knock you down!! LMAO Or, if you go to a concert and the people are sitting. Cause I am a stander! I get up and dance and scream and shake. Trust me, the people behind me that are there for a nice quiet show would disagree with you. (When I was about 16 my dad took me to see STYX.. Everyone sat, I stood. People asked me to sit, I told them to stand up. They threw gum at me! I cursed at them!.. Those people were not lucky to have crossed my path! LMAO) But I appreciate what you said : )

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Okay, maybe not at a concert, but beyond that I am sure you are one of the nicest people around.

I'd like to think so.. I mean, I can be a real pain when it comes to people who know me well. (Just ask Shane!). I am such a brat with him, I know it!!! With people who are close to me, I can become annoying because I am not afraid to say what's on my mind with them. My close friends have learned to accept that if there is an elephant in the room, and no one is going to speak up about it, they can be sure Sue is gonna bring it up.. If there is an awkward situation I tend me like "look fools, let's get this out in the open and scream if we have to so things can get back to normal". But that's with my close friends.

When it comes to everyday meeting people, ya know, meeting people at a grocery store, talking to the cashiers, I think I try to go above and beyond to be nice. There are so many grumpy pissed off people in the world, and it's not fun!!! Why not make someone smile if you can?? There was this woman in line in front of me the other day at w mart. She was just in a bad mood and taking it out on the cashier. She just kept on at the poor woman, and she wasn't doing anything wrong.. I told the cashier "don't worry! I won't yell at you" and she said "aww good cause I don't want to be yelled at anymore" and I said "that woman was just in a bad mood, and you didn't do ANYTHING wrong:. Me & the cashier yapped for EVER and I think it cheered her up after the grumpy woman. I love striking up conversations with almost anyone. I'm strange, I am a people person when it comes to stuff like that, but then at home I need my alone time .. I have many many aquaintences, but not many CLOSE friends, and it's kind of by choice..

Okay, Now that we know all about Sue LMAO

Amy actually you seem like you would be a really really nice person as well.. The other day Lynda & I were actually saying how sweet we thought you were.

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Geoff is just like you...100% honest all the time. Really it is part of why I married him. I really appreciate it, because we were all so worried about being nice in my family nobody really ever said how they felt. Of course, it is majorly annoying when you get your haircut and he says he doesn't like it. Oh well.

But I totally see where you are coming from and I'm pretty much the same way. I have few close friends, but lots of people that I know. But those few close ones are the ones that count.

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I'll take white chocolate and macadamia nut please! :rofl3

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Geoff is just like you...100% honest all the time. Really it is part of why I married him. I really appreciate it, because we were all so worried about being nice in my family nobody really ever said how they felt. Of course, it is majorly annoying when you get your haircut and he says he doesn't like it. Oh well
.

I know that feeling!! My mom never says what's on her mind. EVER! Sometimes I have to say to her "I know you are mad at me, just SAY it! Call me a name! Whatever! Let's get it OUT there" And she just sits there. But for some reason the one thing she loves to comment on is my hair. She HATES it. My hair is naturally very dark brown. Bordering black.. it made me feel very manly and gross.. I always felt frumpy.. Maybe because I am taller and need to lose weight? But brunette with big just felt manly to me. I LOVE blonde.. It makes me feel more girly. But my mom can not STAND it on me. I've had it like this for at least 3-4 years now and if I ask her about it she crinkles her nose and says "I'm trying to get used to it". I say "well do you think I should go back to brown" and she says (in an unsure voice) "nooooo but I wish you could get highlights again".

OKAY! Highlights were my favorite too.. My hair was a light brown, with blonde highlights. I LOVED IT! However, it cost me $120 a month to get someone to do it where I liked it, and even they didn't do it exactly how I wanted..I did it two months and thought "no I can't afford this". The color I have now, sure, is all one color and not as pretty. BUT IT COSTS ME $15 every 6-8 weeks because I do it myself!!!! One box of a bleach type stuff, and one box of toner, and that's it!!! Sure those last few weeks my roots get a little icky, but I've seen people with WAY worse roots.

Point is (I'll say it again, don't you love how I can get off topic in my own threads even??? Sheldon, now hair dye??) honesty can hurt. BUT I would rather know it, than not. The other day after a fresh dye my mom came up to me and said "you are getting really good at making the color look more natural. It looks pretty". At least I know she means it! : )

Oops, forgot to add...you and Lynda are too sweet. Honestly, it makes me want to bake you guys cookies...

BAKE AWAY!!! LOL I don't bake. I can't remember the last time I baked was.. And if I did, it was packaged cookie dough, I ate half it, then plopped the rest on a cookie sheet LMAO Know what I am in the mood for?? Banana Nut Bread!! Make some of that and I'll come eat it with you & Lynda! LMAO

***EDIT**

I'll take white chocolate and macadamia nut please! :rofl3
nevermind! I want what she's having!!
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