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Ranting.....


Niki

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So my neighbor came to visit today, she loves my tanks and fish...when she is here she make a comment I hate looking at your fish bc I know my fish should be this big, btw I thought my fish died again tonight....

Rewind....so this girl keeps 3 fantails in maybe a 5g tank and has had them there for almost a year every now and then she comes to me stating one of them is dying HELP!!! So I go over and help her clean her tank give her some prime and tell her what she needs to do....I also inform her she needs a bigger tank and offer to help her find one but she doesn't want a bigger tank,...says she has no room and doesn't want the big water changes....I'm tired of her hurting her fish and running to me for help!!!!! I feel bad for the fish and I don't know how to tell her I don't want to help.....poor fish have ammonia burned gills, one has SBD....should I just let her kill her fish by stopping helping her? Or do I continue helping her hurt them????

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Hey Niki. :hug

 

Next time she asks for help, ask her what she wants you to do for her fish, and go off her answer to explain why doing anything for the fish in a tiny environment like they are currently in will not help them long-term. If she wants them to live healthily, she'll have to provide the means to do it. And unfortunately, if she threatens the lives of the fish (i.e. I'll just let them die, I'll flush them, etc.) you'll need to ignore it. :(

 

Stay strong, lady. 

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I have tried to tell her every time she asks me to help her.....I tell her that they will not live very long in this tiny tank, she doesn't want them to die, she says she really loves them, I just don't understand why she wont let me help her by helping her get a bigger tank, I could probably get her a 20 gallon for free (not that a 20 is good for this situation, just a smidge better)

 

I have explained that the ammonia builds up quickly in this tank and that the prime is only a temporary solution (as it helps lock ammonia, she thinks prime is magic or something)

 

its not really her threatening the life of her fish she is just pleading for help.....do I or should I ignore her pleas to help her? I know if I don't help her they will die without my prime as she changes water using tap water with nothing in it......

 

it is hard to sit and watch....they are soo cute!

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"look I've tried to help you several times but you refuse to take the steps necessary to provide your fish with a healthy environment. At this point, if you really care about the fish, I suggest rehoming them with someone who is willing to provide them with proper care."

Edited by DieselPlower
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She doesn't want a larger tank. She doesn't want to change large volumes of water.  So let's work around that.  She can do what succeeded for people who kept fish in 2 gallon bowls -- change all the water daily.  Actually every other day will work, but if you start with every day, you can compromise.  

 

She can get a couple of ~ 2 gallon buckets.  Around here anyway, Walmart has a nice one for under $2.  Fill both buckets with water and add water conditioner.  Remove fish from tank and put them in a bucket.  Empty tank.  Put water and fish back in the tank.

 

Will she do it?  Probably not.  But at the least, she will have to come up with some new excuses.

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She doesn't want a larger tank. She doesn't want to change large volumes of water.  So let's work around that.  She can do what succeeded for people who kept fish in 2 gallon bowls -- change all the water daily.  Actually every other day will work, but if you start with every day, you can compromise.  

 

She can get a couple of ~ 2 gallon buckets.  Around here anyway, Walmart has a nice one for under $2.  Fill both buckets with water and add water conditioner.  Remove fish from tank and put them in a bucket.  Empty tank.  Put water and fish back in the tank.

 

Will she do it?  Probably not.  But at the least, she will have to come up with some new excuses.

I wish she did that...she only changes their water once a month if they are lucky......in all honesty I have no clue how they are still alive! and when she changes the water its only half......on top of that when she leave the house she unplugs her filter and sometimes doesn't even turn it back on.......I have the buckets she can have for free!!!! she doesn't use conditioner.....I don't know why......I think she really just needs those floaty fake fish......

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She doesn't want a larger tank. She doesn't want to change large volumes of water.  So let's work around that.  She can do what succeeded for people who kept fish in 2 gallon bowls -- change all the water daily.  Actually every other day will work, but if you start with every day, you can compromise.  

 

She can get a couple of ~ 2 gallon buckets.  Around here anyway, Walmart has a nice one for under $2.  Fill both buckets with water and add water conditioner.  Remove fish from tank and put them in a bucket.  Empty tank.  Put water and fish back in the tank.

 

Will she do it?  Probably not.  But at the least, she will have to come up with some new excuses.

I wish she did that...she only changes their water once a month if they are lucky......in all honesty I have no clue how they are still alive! and when she changes the water its only half......on top of that when she leave the house she unplugs her filter and sometimes doesn't even turn it back on.......I have the buckets she can have for free!!!! she doesn't use conditioner.....I don't know why......I think she really just needs those floaty fake fish......

 

I find there are three ways this could go 1. She improves their care 2. She re homes the fish or 3. She won't listen. I had a friend like this who allowed me to take his goldfish but now his loach is in the same conditions but if they don't listen/care then what is the point of trying to help them?? (I know it sounds mean not to help the fish but what else can you do if they don't listen or care??)

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My Aunt has a parrot fish in with a goldfish in a 10 gallon, I told her many times the cichlid is going to attack the goldfish which he already does and its too small of a tank. Sometimes people just don't want to hear the truth. When I go their it looks so sad with the parrot fish chasing the goldfish all the time. I told her in a nice way too. You can try but sometimes they just don't listen, good for you for trying.

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Hhmmm, try asking how would she like to live in one of her CLOSETS???  She might could keep & little food & water in a styrofoam ice chest & be able to possibly turn around comfortably....but it could NOT be a healthy environment & she would be unhappy, uncomfortable & eventually have health issues!!

 

OR wouldn't living in the WHOLE house be better!!!

 

Otherwise..you will probably just have to either not deal with her at all OR just put the poor fish out of your mind realising she probably won't change. :no:

Edited by Jeana727
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People do survive in spaces quite comparable to a goldfish in a tiny tank. http://solitarywatch.com/facts/faq/,  but the people who put them there do not claim to love them,.

 

"Solitary confinement cells generally measure from 6 x 9 to 8 x 10 feet. Some have bars, but more often they have solid metal doors. Meals generally come through slots in these doors, as do any communications with prison staff. Within these cells, prisoners live lives of enforced idleness, denied the opportunity to work or attend prison programming, and sometimes banned from having televisions, radios, art supplies, and even reading materials in their cells."

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People do survive in spaces quite comparable to a goldfish in a tiny tank. http://solitarywatch.com/facts/faq/,  but the people who put them there do not claim to love them,.

 

"Solitary confinement cells generally measure from 6 x 9 to 8 x 10 feet. Some have bars, but more often they have solid metal doors. Meals generally come through slots in these doors, as do any communications with prison staff. Within these cells, prisoners live lives of enforced idleness, denied the opportunity to work or attend prison programming, and sometimes banned from having televisions, radios, art supplies, and even reading materials in their cells."

It is also a punishment. For the worst offenders. Some go nuts.

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My point is simply that human solitary confinement is quite comparable to a goldfish in a bowl.  This sounds like a good way to help people understand how unkindly they are treating  their pet.

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I'd start suggesting breed for micro aquariums and turn her into that hobby. I actually love my tiny tanks - a bunch of plants in a five and fifteen gallon with appropriately sized fish and invertabrates is a ton of fun. Or, if she wants to keep a Goldie in a tank so small, suggest that she do daily water changes or stop abusing her animals, full stop.

But I'd rather try to divert her interest to animals suited for smaller quarters. Some Galaxy rasboras, white clouds, and shrimp would be gorgeous in a filtered five gallon - especially a densely planted one. And many plants like crypts or elodea will grow nicely in lower light. Goldfish really aren't suitable for smaller quarters without rigorous upkeep. That means water changes as needed, anywhere from once a day to *several times daily* if the fish behavior indicates any stress. Overstocking can be done, especially by an experienced fish keeper with ample space and time, but if she is serious about not wanting to hurt her animals she needs to adjust the species for the quarters or the quarters for the species.

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She doesn't want a larger tank. She doesn't want to change large volumes of water. So let's work around that. She can do what succeeded for people who kept fish in 2 gallon bowls -- change all the water daily. Actually every other day will work, but if you start with every day, you can compromise.

She can get a couple of ~ 2 gallon buckets. Around here anyway, Walmart has a nice one for under $2. Fill both buckets with water and add water conditioner. Remove fish from tank and put them in a bucket. Empty tank. Put water and fish back in the tank.

Will she do it? Probably not. But at the least, she will have to come up with some new excuses.

Exactly. Do the appropriate maintenance to keep your animal healthy and thriving, or find an animal better suited to your level of commitment. Chia pets are fun, I've heard. Rocks, too.

Edited by Arctic Mama
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I woul like to thank you all for suggestions.....I'll retro push for the chi pet too hahaha

Today was fish auction day by our local aquarium club. I picked up a 10g for $6 for her....maybe if I can slowly get her use to the idea of a bigger tank for them she will see.....if not a got a cheap betta tank for myself hahha

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So I ended up setting up the ten gallon for her! (Still not enough but better than the 5g) she goes on how much she loves it after she stuffed it with fake plants giving the fish less room to swim....the next thing out of her mouth was can I go get another one now?***smash palm on face now****

Some people just don't understand!!!!

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That was so nice of you. Oh dear, she has issues. You did so much for her and she still does not understand. You did the best you could, even bought her a tank. Grrrr.

I am done helping her and her fish, though I did convince her yesterday not to add any more fish or her beloved one with SBD would indeed die! She also informed me that this poor fish has had this problem for the whole 2 years she has had it.....poor little fishy, too hardy for their own good! 

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She changes water once a month, when I set it up she asked how come ye water looks so crystal clear and asked how to keep it that was so I told er she needs to change the water weekly or bi-weekly to keep it clear (though she really needs I change it daily with that many fish) I told her weekly as not to shock her and maybe help better her routine slowly. I also let her know she needs a bigger filter, so slowly but surely she is starting to come around I think :-)

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