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Friendship Problems...


katiehuggins

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Hi guys, its been a while since I have been on, but I have been browsing through topics and stuff, so I haven't completely "left" . So, I have or (had) a best friend whose name is Katy. Katy and I were best friends ever since the summer before fourth grade, when she moved from a small city named fallbrook in San Diego. We met at the summer swimming pool, and ever since that we always have hung out, and I mean ALAWAYS. we would have overnights constantly, go to each others houses constantly, we would go to the movies, the mall, the fair, basicly we didn't go anywhere without eachother.

I was her only friend, nobody liked her for some reason? I would also always stand up for her. everyone bullied her, on the internet, at school, and just whenever they saw her. On Facebook, there were a group of kids at our school that started a HATE PAGE FOR HER!! there were always these two girls at school that always hated her, and I mean hate. they would make fun if her weight, her sister, and just anything she did.

alright now to present day. Katy really liked this boy in our class named Ethan. Ethan is the "coolest kid in school" sterotype . he dislikes Katy very much also, he talks about her behind her back nooooooonstooooop. and I always told her that but she was blinded. she started sitting next to him, alaways with him, talking about him...ugh. he is such a jerk too!! and I warned her, and I don't want to be boastful.. but I was right...

OK now, remember those two extremely mean girls that I talked about yeah now she's friends with them she looks exactly like them they all have nose piercings they think their quote unquote punk and she likes everything that she always complains about and she just hates choose to hate everything about them but now she's in love with them and now she's calling me names and now she's doing all this stuff to hurt my feelings and she's doing all the same stuff that they did the her but she's doing them to me and that's why I just feel really mad and sad because she was my best friend and when I was the only one there for her and I was the only one that wanted to be her friend now she just kind of left me and she left me in the dust and she doesn't realize that they don't like her because Sam and Gabby always talk behind Katie's back and people always tell her but she doesn't listen its like the same thing with Ethan when I warned her and I was right

Edited by katiehuggins
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sorry forgot last part

I just feel sad and upset, she was my best friend and I was her best friend I just feel like am I really that easy to leave and forget? I was the only on there for her... and I feel sad that now she is bulling me.

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Sorry, Katie, growing up is difficult and all the adults here have experienced different versions of what you are describing. You know the deal. Young people test out identities, trying to find one that fits them. Unfortunately, sometimes that means rejecting old ones, and old friends to do so. It's not nice, but it is common.

As for you, just keep doing things you enjoy and ignore the drama. Your friend has to find her way in life and you have to find yours. You are right to be hurt. She has done hurtful things but they don't reflect on you in any way.

The gossip and sniping? Truthfully, that doesn't go away. Adults talk about one another in hurtful ways too, sometimes. It's best to just keep your involvement in it to a minimum and don't let any of it really go into you, if you know what I mean.

Tend your fish, go for a run, shop with your mom, make milkshakes, call another friend, read a good book. One of my favourite authors (you are a bit too young for her, I think) Angela Carter writes something like, By living well, we keep the wolves away. Live well and have a good summer!

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Sorry, Katie, growing up is difficult and all the adults here have experienced different versions of what you are describing. You know the deal. Young people test out identities, trying to find one that fits them. Unfortunately, sometimes that means rejecting old ones, and old friends to do so. It's not nice, but it is common.

As for you, just keep doing things you enjoy and ignore the drama. Your friend has to find her way in life and you have to find yours. You are right to be hurt. She has done hurtful things but they don't reflect on you in any way.

The gossip and sniping? Truthfully, that doesn't go away. Adults talk about one another in hurtful ways too, sometimes. It's best to just keep your involvement in it to a minimum and don't let any of it really go into you, if you know what I mean.

Tend your fish, go for a run, shop with your mom, make milkshakes, call another friend, read a good book. One of my favourite authors (you are a bit too young for her, I think) Angela Carter writes something like, By living well, we keep the wolves away. Live well and have a good summer!

thank you so much!

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I'm sorry. :hug it's hard, I am pretty sure many people talk about me behind my back. I just don't care anymore. I am who I am and I choose to be friends with who I want to. So what if I hang out with choir and band nerds (myself included :P) I don't measure my coolness, I measure the quality in my friendships. If they aren't worth it, I let them go.

I actually ended a friendship last night. It wasn't worth being put down and feeling bad about yourself (myself) when all you are doing is being kind to the friend and they just walk over you like you are nothing. I feel so relieved that I did it. All she did was put me down. She said I was bad at game we all played online (I am much better, she just didn't give me a chance to prove it) so I told her I was better and blah blah blah and she didn't message me back. I logged in as my brother on the game and messaged her wanna 1v1 and INSTANTLY nah brah lel. we aren't playing now. We are playing cards. Wanna play? (She didn't offer to play cards (a different online game) with ME or offer to Skype with ME) she offered everything to my brother which he hates her and he doesn't talk to her. I had 2 classes and lunch with her and was anything but nice. I ALWAYS lent her pencils and paper and she gave me nothing and chooses to treat me like dirt. That was the last straw last night, I was done. I texted her. "Why am I still friends with you? All you do is treat me like **** and I am sick of it. I'm just done."

Edited by Mikey
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sorry forgot last part

I just feel sad and upset, she was my best friend and I was her best friend I just feel like am I really that easy to leave and forget? I was the only on there for her... and I feel sad that now she is bulling me.

no, you are not. and that is why she's hurting you. because she remembers you and you let her. but she is easy to leave and forget. clearly, you are stronger than her. forget her, her new friends and the boy she was over the moon about.

turn your head the other way and find those good friends waiting for you in that direction.. move forward and you will see how karma deals with things :)

we say it on the forums.. do not feed the troll ;)

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I had a similar thing happen to me in high school. It definitely made me stronger.

This isn't a reflection on you, but her.

Susan and Helen said it best.

:bighug

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People will do a lot of (silly) things to fit in, like your old friend.

Just be honest with yourself and others.

It is easier that way.

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In my experience "the cool people" in high school are rarely the stars in life. As kids, we desperately want to be in that crowd. As adults, we are so grateful that we weren't. Keep being yourself :)

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I'm so sorry! That's rough. She probably wants to raise her self esteem and thinks that being part of a popular crowd will make her feel better. I'll bet that she still loves you though, and it's likely that over time she will see that you are there for her and others aren't. As for now, try not to let her comments get to you. Remember that you are awesome and just be yourself! Everything will work out i promise <3 message me if you wanna talk tho :)

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I'm so sorry! That's rough. She probably wants to raise her self esteem and thinks that being part of a popular crowd will make her feel better. I'll bet that she still loves you though, and it's likely that over time she will see that you are there for her and others aren't. As for now, try not to let her comments get to you. Remember that you are awesome and just be yourself! Everything will work out i promise <3 message me if you wanna talk tho :)

thank you so much! I never knew that that sort of thing would make her feel better, she would just constantly talk bad about those types of people (the cool sporty popular kids) and the punk kids (who she hangs out with now) and she always talks about them and what they have done... they smoked E cigarettes outside of the principles window. HIS WINDOW FOR GOODNESS SAKE.. they always talk about stealing, getting "buzzed", smoking, and doing hookah. honestly I am done. I am over it. I don't want her to come back after she made a mistake. it sounds bad to say, bit I honestly don't even care anymore.
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Friends? What are those?

My entire life, I think I have made a friend, and get told to get lost !
I was on another board for around 10 yrs, thought I had friends on there, never got into any trouble and defended the board operator more than once, and out of the blue, was told to get lost !
How many friends do I have now that I can get together with to do things? ZERO !
So, my life is the life of a loner, those of you that have friend problems feel fortunate you have friends to have problems with !
I am not wanting a pity party, only stating the facts of my own life.

I was in a bowling league, one of the more accomplished in the league (a couple of years ago) seemed I was getting along with everyone well, (at least that is what I thought) When the new season started and i showed to try and get on a team, I was told "all the teams are full, sorry" Yet, there were teams short members. Small family owned center, asked the Owners what leagues still needed members, and was told "nothing personal, but only come back for open play" NOTE: (I did not drink, get drunk, or hit on any of the Women, only tried to be friendly and get along with folks.)

This has happened my entire life, so, I give up on having friends, again, not a pity party, but appreciate if you have a problem with one friend, that you have other friends as well!

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I'm sorry Katie for what's been going on with you. :hug My daughter is just a few years older then you (16) and I'm going to tell you what I would be telling her if Taylor came to me with this.

First. I find it very sad that your friend was being cyber bullied and at school. The people that do that kind of stuff aren't happy themselves and they are just trying to make themselves feel better by hurting you. (but let's say; trying to hurt you.) Very sad indeed on their part. Stay clear from people like that.

I am sorry for the loss of your friendship though. As hard as it is now you will start to feel better. You don't want to associate yourself with anyone that has changed like that. You need to just focus on the good and your other friends. Once school starts up again focus on that, homework, and your grades. Are you going into H.S.? You will be making a whole new group of new friends also. Get involved and stay active. Look and walk the other way at people that want to bring you down or bully you. I find it sad that your past girlfriend is doing this to you. I believe she will realize it one day. You are young and still growing. Keep the communication open with your parents. I hope you told them all this.

I wish you well Katie. My heart was breaking from your post. Again, :hug

Edited by 4prettyfish
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Hang in there hun :hug your "friend" has shown you her true colors, you're unlikely to be the last person she pulls this nonsense with. I know it feels so big right now, but when you're out of school this is going to be just a tiny little blip in your life. What is happening here has nothing to do with your worth or character, it is someone else's issues that are unfortunately affecting you :(

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Friends? What are those?

My entire life, I think I have made a friend, and get told to get lost !

I was on another board for around 10 yrs, thought I had friends on there, never got into any trouble and defended the board operator more than once, and out of the blue, was told to get lost !

How many friends do I have now that I can get together with to do things? ZERO !

So, my life is the life of a loner, those of you that have friend problems feel fortunate you have friends to have problems with !

I am not wanting a pity party, only stating the facts of my own life.

I was in a bowling league, one of the more accomplished in the league (a couple of years ago) seemed I was getting along with everyone well, (at least that is what I thought) When the new season started and i showed to try and get on a team, I was told "all the teams are full, sorry" Yet, there were teams short members. Small family owned center, asked the Owners what leagues still needed members, and was told "nothing personal, but only come back for open play" NOTE: (I did not drink, get drunk, or hit on any of the Women, only tried to be friendly and get along with folks.)

This has happened my entire life, so, I give up on having friends, again, not a pity party, but appreciate if you have a problem with one friend, that you have other friends as well!

you got friends here :thumbup2:

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Friends? What are those?

My entire life, I think I have made a friend, and get told to get lost !

I was on another board for around 10 yrs, thought I had friends on there, never got into any trouble and defended the board operator more than once, and out of the blue, was told to get lost !

How many friends do I have now that I can get together with to do things? ZERO !

So, my life is the life of a loner, those of you that have friend problems feel fortunate you have friends to have problems with !

I am not wanting a pity party, only stating the facts of my own life.

I was in a bowling league, one of the more accomplished in the league (a couple of years ago) seemed I was getting along with everyone well, (at least that is what I thought) When the new season started and i showed to try and get on a team, I was told "all the teams are full, sorry" Yet, there were teams short members. Small family owned center, asked the Owners what leagues still needed members, and was told "nothing personal, but only come back for open play" NOTE: (I did not drink, get drunk, or hit on any of the Women, only tried to be friendly and get along with folks.)

This has happened my entire life, so, I give up on having friends, again, not a pity party, but appreciate if you have a problem with one friend, that you have other friends as well!

you got friends here :thumbup2:

:bighug

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Katie, I just saw on the news about the big fire in your home town. Not sure if you'll be seeing this anytime soon. I live here in Fallbrook and we just had some big Fires here just prior to school getting out. Some area's of my town were evacuated and that included some of my family. A scary time. Prayers for you, your family, and the town to be safe. Prayers also for the Firemen's safety and that they are able to get this under control soon. :hug

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Katie, I just saw on the news about the big fire in your home town. Not sure if you'll be seeing this anytime soon. I live here in Fallbrook and we just had some big Fires here just prior to school getting out. Some area's of my town were evacuated and that included some of my family. A scary time. Prayers for you, your family, and the town to be safe. Prayers also for the Firemen's safety and that they are able to get this under control soon. :hug

Just thinking of you earlier Katie. I hope you and your family are okay.
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