I have been brought up in believing if there is a will there is a way. Lately though it seems there is more thing in the way than my will can handle. My dad recently had to get a stent put in one of his heart valves. The doctors also told him that they will be needing to replace one of his valves very soon like in 2-3 weeks soon.

My fiancee and I were supposed to move out this month but since my dad is having all this we are staying with him to help. The thing that I am worried about besides his health is bills. Disabilty will only cover so much and he has quite the bill load. I recently got a promotion (i guess) later on finding out it was just tempt postions and even though the job said it would pay more they manage to weasal there way out of saying the job listing didn't really say that So now I am doing a job that requires more but getting paid the same from my old postion. I am the only 1 in that office that is making that pay. Now with all this and my dad going to be out of work for quite some time and is going to need fiancial assitance. I make enough to pay my bills with little left over but I budget pretty well for my age (have too). I was planning to return to school this semester too, since I had to drop out since once again my parents were sick except that time it was my mom with cancer I have been working supportting myself since I was 13 and have never really needed my parents to buy me anything since I have always had a job and they had little money to spend on us.

I have no problem helping my dad out in a way I find it nice I will finailly be able to repay him back for everything he has done for me. Just I am starting to feel overwelmed and getting worried since with my recent budgetting and figuring everything out I will have very little money to save. Without that I have nothing if something were to happen and I need emergency money I won't have it. I also don't want to put my student loan on defferement either but it might come down to that.

I deffinately can't buy anymore fish stuff but my dad told if I really want that fish I am eyeballing at the pet store I can get him (only $10 bucks) just after that I am done for a while. My horse is like family since she is the last thing m grandfather left me and he was like a second dad but I am going to see if I can start cleaning stalls or something to lower board.

I am currently trying to find a second job for the weekends or a better job since the experince I am getting with my postion will be really handy and boost my resume. I also don't want to overwork myself either, I did that for a year working 65hr weeks and that was painful. Actually that is one the reasons I got into fish was after that since it is relaxing lol. I guess I am eventually hoping things will turn around and stop going downhill in the abyss. For once I want to see my dream of owning my own Art therpy/ thereaputic riding center start moving foward and I can go back to school and finish up ( I MISS COLLEGE!!) .

Blah sorry for the rant and complaining just a lot on my mind and I am always looking for advice or wisdom to be shared Thanks for listening and reading long ranting lol.